New Year's Resolutions

So here it goes. There are several things that I have resolved to do in this year. Some are frivolous, but there are some more serious things that I want out of this year. More and more I realize how important it is to take a look at the previous year and do an inventory of how things went, and make serious, realistic goals on how to change where needed.

Why?

“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” – Galatians 5:1

This verse says it well. As a Christian, I am called to be more like Christ. Every day I am to choose death to my old self, ways and habits, and practice holiness. God has been teaching me a lot this past year and looking back at 2009, there are some things that need to change. I’m excited! I know what God has convicted me to work on, and I think that writing it out makes it more real, will help me be mindful of what I need to work on, and keep me accountable to what I’ve committed to (especially with all my friend reading it and helping me out in this – thanks guys!).

So, here is a list of my resolutions (in no particular order):

1. To be more disciplined. This one is hard, because it’s pretty abstract, and encompasses many aspects of my life. Over this past year I’ve learned a lot about being disciplined, and the importance of it, but have failed to put it into practice. Whether it comes to spending time in the Word, or in prayer, even to the less spiritual side of my life like what I eat and school (and not hitting the snooze button for an hour every morning), I have not tried very hard to be disciplined. I think it really hit me when I was watching my weekly SVU marathon on a Tuesday. What was I doing? I would come home from class and watch SVU all day until I went to my late class and then Logos. Not that watching SVU is bad, but a whole day of it is just a complete waste of time. Then recently, while I was out running, I realized just how intertwined not being disciplined in one area leads to a lack of discipline in another area. Now I’ve realized this before over a year ago, but all of the steps I took to be more disciplined in one area of my life were all a self effort and it didn’t last long. This attempting to transform myself on my own was futile, but still it is one of my resolutions to be more disciplined this year. It’s a difficult balance, because at first I was trying the “do it yourself” method which failed miserably, then I fell into the “not actively doing anything to change” method, which also failed miserably. There is, thankfully, a solution, and Richard Foster in The Spiritual Disciplines (good book, read it!!) puts it well:

“If all human strivings end in moral bankruptcy (and having tried it, we know it is), so if righteousness is a gracious gift from God (as the Bible clearly states), then is it not logical to conclude that we must wait for God to come and transform us? Strangely enough, the answer is no. The analysis is correct – human striving is insufficient and righteousness is a gift from God – but the conclusion is faulty. Happily there is something we can do. We do not need to be hung on the horns of the dilemma or either human works or idleness. God has given us the Disciplines of the spiritual life as a means of receiving his grace. The Disciplines allow us to place ourselves before God so that He can transform us.”

So that’s number one. I said they were in no particular order, and the rest of them aren’t, but I feel like this is my most important one. As I stated earlier, as a Christian I am always going through the process of sanctification, to be more like Christ. In my life right now this is something that God has really convicted me of and I believe is currently the biggest hindrance in becoming more like Him. I know this is pretty abstract, and I do have specific goals, but resolution #1 is getting pretty long.
2. Play the piano once a week (at least, since I’m taking less hours hopefully I’ll be able to more often).
3. Cook more often and eat out less (more about this to come in a future blog – get excited!)
4. “Wherever you are, be fully there.” (This can somewhat be wrapped into #1, but I felt like it should be a resolution of its own.) A very wise woman (and probably one of the coolest people I know) told me this while I was in China this summer. I have a really hard time living in the present. A lot of the time I find my mind wondering off to thinking about the future, and sometimes about the past, and not being where I currently am. Right now I am still a student at Texas A&M and have one more semester to go. I find it hard to stay here. Whether it’s worrying about the next step in my life (or even the next 10 steps after that) or imagining how I want a situation to turn out, or dwelling on how I would have done something differently etc., I don’t do a good job of being where I am. This has been a struggle for years and more and more I see how this affects my life and how desperately I need to change. This past year I have learned a lot about trusting God. I have always been one to try and plan my life 10 years in advance. I don’t like not knowing what’s going to happen and a lot of this comes out of a lack of trust in God and knowing that He already knows what’s next and is working everything out for my good. I am learning. Romans 8:28 has been an important verse in my life this year. I have realized I can’t control everything but God does, and that’s comforting. And honestly it’s a little more exciting not knowing what’s coming. Before I came to college I never would have thought I would be working on moving to China after I graduate, or that I would have even gone there (three times!). If I planned my own way through life I would be graduating with a degree in business of some sort, and be going to law school to become the next Jack McCoy (I know I’m obsessed with Law & Order). God truly does know me better than I know myself, and knew that 3 years of memorizing cases wouldn’t have been my favorite past time and that being engulfed in a new and different culture that has won my heart would be a much better fit for me. As I said, I’ve learned a lot about trusting God this past year, and I know that all of my worries about the future come out of a lack of trust. I have also seen how much time I waste worrying about controlling what I can’t. I’ve come a long way for sure, but still have much to work on and God is still teaching me. I have a purpose in being where I am right now, and I need to use this time well while I have it. In order to do that, and for God to really be able to use me in the here and now, I need to stop living in the future (or in the past) and trust Him.
5. Blog more often J Right now I’m at three posts this year (and in one week I might add) which is already more than last year. I feel like I’m doing a pretty good job at this one so far.
6. Take more artsy photos J
7. Read more (for fun, not necessarily for school, although that probably would hurt my GPR). This also includes reading through the New Testament in a year. My church Central Baptist is doing a really cool thing this year where we all read through the NT. Last year we read through the whole Bible, but this year we’re doing it a little different. We also have been given the assignment of journaling (YES! Homework I like). With each passage we read we are to journal about 3 things.
a) What the passage tells us about prayer (i.e. how to pray, what to pray for and what not to pray for).
b) How the passage reveals that we are significant in God’s plan.
c) What the passage says about God’s love for us
I’ve been very blessed to be at this church, and to have a pastor who does a great job of sheparding his congregation and I am thankful that he has commissioned our church to do this together, and excited about learning (I wish I could say that about POLS 359…).
8. Do something once a month I’ve never done before.
9. Have a rock solid 6-pack with Julie Millsap thanks to http://twohundredsitups.com/index.html

So that seems like an extensive list, but I feel like I did a good job of encompassing fun things with that I really do need to work on. So those are my resolutions. I’m excited for 2010. This is the first time I’ve really made a resolution list, at least one that I’m committed to, and I have a feeling that this is going to be a good year of growing and changing. As for the fun things, those are easy to take care of on my own. For the more serious/spiritual aspect of my resolution, I’m excited to see how God is going to change me to be more like Him and how He is going to use me through that to share His good news to those around me.